Rudey's Room

The Importance of a Lovey


Just like their mama, my girls have an affinity for their dolls. (That’s moi, above, at age three.)

They feed them, style them, monkey with them, and tote, oh so many, of them partout.

But the stand-out activity is the “set up.”

At age three, Veronica started her Barbie set ups. Stella, has since joined in the merriment.

They often line the Barbies up facing the t.v. for movie night … Everyone has reserved spot, and it’s usually a big turn out.


They act out scenes from our home … husband, wife and two daughters en famille. (Side note: Stella, my youngest, frequently cajoles my husband and I to slow dance or kiss (open mouthed πŸ™‚


Some set ups are imaginary. Three naked dudes and a lounging lady, not so much our reality … Is a birds and the bees chat on the docket?


The doll most often in the set-up mix is Carol. She’s been a part of our lives for almost six years. Carol was a gift from my mother-in-law for Veronica’s first Christmas, a couple months shy of her first birthday.

Before pic – fresh-out-of-the-box:

Carol is an bona fide member of our family. (Below is a bedtime set up. Carol’s in the middle. Her duct-tapped neck is peeking above the blanket.)


She’s had duct-tape surgery a minimum of a half a dozen times.

After pic – Carol post-surgeries:


Carol is my oldest’s security when she is frustrated or upset.

The ratty tatty doll is a source of comfort to her when the going gets tough.

Carol, overlooked for weeks – even months, is pulled out when we travel to unfamiliar places … when there is a gnarly thunderstorm … to Wisconsin for holidays … or simply for some group downtime.


Her attachment to Carol waxes and wanes, yet Carol always pops by when there is a shift in the air.

Veronica pulled Carol into bed for a sleepover the eve of the first day of Kindergarten.

Like Trixie in Mo Williams’ Knuffle Bunny, V is hopelessly devoted to Carol.

It is an authentic love, much like the rabbit in the classic story about becoming real.

“When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

– Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

That is one of my favorites!

Love comes in all shapes, sizes, and textures … What is your child’s lovey? What is the oddest thing that any of your children decided to adopt as a lovey?

Ciao for now.


5 Responses to “The Importance of a Lovey”

  1. Joan radue

    Nice. I see my favorite doll with you. She looks scarey! Poor thing bad hair cut & really needed a bath! Timmy was still my best!

  2. Simply Kerry

    I absolutely love your reference to “authentic love” In my coaching business, I talk about when you truly love yourself, your real authentic self – than anything is possible. Great blog!


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